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goals 2017 – 2022

Who do you want to be in 5 years ?  

Marie’s List

  1. Parachute jumping
  2. Bungee-jumping
  3. Go to the Reunion and see the island from a helicopter
  4. Go back to Moscow 
  5. Be better at cooking 
  6. Lean more about Cinema 
  7. Do a safari
  8. Be more active 
  9. Hot air ballooning
  10. Go to the Louvre
  11. Visit the Mont Saint Michel
  12. See more of Brittany 

My List

  1. Write a book (novel, essay, short story) 
  2. Go to Vietnam 
  3. Read everything written by Albert Camus 
  4. Play an instrument
  5. Publish a scientific article 
  6. Fall in love
  7. Do some travelling with my mom
  8. See more of Africa  
  9. Drive a vespa in Italy with Maria 
  10. Own more plants
  11. Visit the Mont Saint Michel 

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lazy sunday and 2017

Sunday, 12:37. 
In this cold and rainy sunday, I chose to spend the day at home, on my sofa, writing, making lists, reading and meditating about the upcoming week. 

I just finished PMSing and I am now surprisingly in a very good mood. I loved celebrating new years with my best friend and discovering Copenhagen a week before that. For 2017, I wish to read more, swim more and go to more lectures. I’ve been doing that for the last two weeks so i’m quite happy with myself. 

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For some unknown reason, I feel calm. I have a lot to do, internships to find and exams to pass but I feel very positive and hopefully, I will get shit done this year. 

I guess music helped. I’ve been listening to Angel Olsen for the past two weeks. All of her three albums and man, she now has my heart. I was so happy to see that she would be playing live in June that I immediately bought a ticket. If you’re interested, my favorite tracks are : The Waiting, Lonely Universe, Unfucktheworld, Windows, Stars, Iota, Woman, Those were the days, SISTER. 

Everything I guess. You listen to her voice, the peaceful electric guitar, the powerful lyrics and the very subtle bass and suddenly you’re transported and wish to never come back. 

I read Wuthering Heights last week, without finding it as depressing as everyone says. I actually enjoyed it very much. Sure, the characters are full of flaws but interesting enough to portray and analyze. I loved how gothic this novel was and the fact that nature was the biggest character of all. Us millennials don’t realize that once – and even today in some countries – life was ruled by nature and men were quite powerless when facing it.

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I though I would capture my life today, in the beginning of 2017.
My apartment, belongings and state of mind. 

As you can see, i’m still very dreamy.

I’ve been wearing this sweater a lot. It’s comfy, blue and so warm (also from pull&bear if you’re interested). I smell like Chanel N5 and will for the rest of my life. The only accessories I wear are my watch – while being late ALL THE TIME – and my hoop silver earrings.

My room is simple, yet always messy. The Monet painting is the first thing I look at when I come out of bed. My record collection is growing. My bookshelf is a mess and needs some serious organizing. 

The smell of coffee in the morning is still one of my favorite things.
So is this Virginia Woolf mug.

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On my Reading List for January and February : 

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“Now so long, Marianne.
It’s time that we began to laugh
And cry and cry and laugh about it all again”

100 movies to (re)watch in 2017

  1. Philadelphia
  2. La la land (2016) √ 
  3. Paterson (2016) √ 
  4. Manchester by the sea (2016) √ 
  5. The social network (2012)
  6. Under the skin
  7. Prisoners
  8. The prestige
  9. Enemy
  10. The shining
  11. Nightcrawler
  12. Dany Darko
  13. Moonrise kingdom 
  14. Drive
  15. Her
  16. Space Oddity
  17. Control
  18. American Beauty 
  19. Like Crazy (2011) 
  20. Citizen Kane
  21. My fair lady
  22. Charade √ 
  23. Snowden (2016)
  24. The sound of music
  25. The Reader
  26. Moulin Rouge
  27. Dumb and Dumber
  28. The Graduate
  29. Forrest Gump
  30. Big Fish
  31. Scarface
  32. Blue Valentine
  33. West side story
  34. Election √
  35. Clueless 
  36. Heathers 
  37. Jackie (2016)
  38. Sully (2016)
  39. Loving (2017)
  40. Lion (2016) √ 
  41. Fences (2016)
  42. Hidden Figures (2016) 
  43. The Neon Demon (2016)
  44. Moonlight (2016) √ 
  45. Green Room (2016)
  46. Lost in translation (2004) 
  47. The Virgin Suicides (1999) 
  48. Somewhere (2008)
  49. Ferris Bueller’s day off (1986) 
  50. Pretty in Pink
  51. The Grand Budapest hotel (2014) √
  52. The Royal Tenenbaums (2001) 
  53. Rushmore √
  54. Antoine et Colette 
  55. Le mépris
  56. La piscine
  57. Funny Games
  58. A clockwork orange
  59. Dr Strangelove
  60. Requiem for a Dream
  61. Elephant
  62. The Truman Show 
  63. V for Vendetta
  64. César et Rosalie 
  65. War and Peace (1967)
  66. Le fabuleux destin d’Amélie Poulain (2001) 
  67. Annie Hall 
  68. Romeo + Juliet
  69. 8 femmes – François Ozon (2001) √ 
  70. Only lovers left Alive  
  71. Split
  72. Your name √ 
  73. Legally Blonde (2001) √
  74. Swiss Army Man
  75. Schindler’s List
  76. Logan √ 
  77. The God Father
  78. Moon
  79. The Deer Hunter
  80. Grave 
  81. Un Homme et une Femme 
  82. 12 hommes en colère
  83. Lady Macbeth  √ 

stop hiding

Hello again.

It has been a while but I was so busy with university and exams that writing seemed impossible. Fortunately, it’s now part of the past and I can enjoy the next two weeks stress free.

I’m writing from Copenhagen and staying in the city for 5 days. I’ll be honest, It is cold as fuck. However, people here are so damn nice that I don’t even care about having three layers of clothes on. 

I really love it here.
Last weeks were rough, i was extremely stressed about my exams and emotionally exhausted. Winter depression hit me hard and time was not running fast enough. 

I’m better now. I guess i’m always happier when i’m travelling. Spending time with friends from the past is also very refreshing, it makes you realize how much you have changed without  feeling particularly different. 

Like I said, last weeks were pretty blue, I didn’t go to the movies much but I finally saw Fantastic Beats and : Mehh. I also went through a Winona Rider obsession and re-watched my favorites movies with her : Girl Interrupted, Edward Scissorhands and Heathers. 

I have been listening to the same music all over again but my current favorites are : The Radio Dept., Feist, Angel Olsen, Weezer. 

Next book on my reading list, a french 2014 novel : Réparer les vivants – “Maylis de Kerangal” – I actually saw  and really enjoyed the movie adaptation a few months ago and I’ve had great feedbacks from people who read the novel. It’s basically a transplant story. You get to follow two people, one is dying and the other is getting a second chance to live a decent life. It is supposed to be medically accurate, very touching and disturbing so I’m looking forward to read it. 

Greetings from Copenhagen ! Here is me looking very sassy at the Ny Carlsberg Glyptotek.

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What’s up

November is so close, and I’m so excited !!!

I really enjoy this time of the year : wearing big overcoats, drinking 6 cups of tea/coffee a day (lately, I have been enjoying white tea and honey), sitting in cafés, not knowing when the sun will be rising, spending the day out, where it is cold but kinda nice and then going back to my warm and comfortable bed (yes I enjoy routine haha). 

The last week was busy but great. I recovered from a big cold but got my period (you can’t always get what you want). I studied a bit more than usually cause I’m starting to realize that finals are so close and I really need to rock this semester. 

I’m going to Paris next week and then Amsterdam the week after, and I’m so excited cause it has always seemed to me like Amsterdam was my dream city. I’ll try to document those days and maybe post some of my favorite moments. 

Also, as you guys may know, I’m very fond of music, so here are the albums I enjoyed listening to lately (some are new – or new to me – and some have been close to my heart for a while) 

– Beach House has always been one of my favorite bands and I always enjoy listening to Teen Dreams (the entire album sounds like heaven to me) and I also like Depression Cherry very much (how perfect is PPP ?!!) 

– BOY’s Mutual Friends is the album that i enjoy listening to when i feel particularly happy (which is the case i guess) 

– Car Seat Headrest … well this is new (to me), I listened to those 2 albums (Teens of Style and Teens of Denial) and some other songs from previous albums and i really enjoy the lo-fi vibe, the lyrics and Will Toledo’s deep dark voice. The band will be playing in Paris in March 2017 and i certainly will be there !

– Angel Olsen’s Half Way Home is not her most recent album but definitely my favorite ! Go check The waiting

Home is home

Earlier, I was reading Brooklyn by Colm Toibin and it made me wonder about what we call home. I saw the movie a few months ago. I thought it to be beautiful and very truthful to how it feels to be away from home. I myself left home when I was 17 (like so many others) and went to another continent to study and become the person I knew I wanted to be.

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Unlike Eilis, I didn’t leave because I needed a job, or money. But just like her, I felt like there was nothing there for me and that I didn’t belong. I don’t complain much about missing the family home. I don’t talk about it that much and yes, it really bugs me when I find 9 missed calls from my mom on the phone but that’s mostly because I hate it when people call me more that twice in one minute and she knows that  I’ve told her many times. Still, it didn’t stop her from doing it for two freaking years.

My mom can be a real piece of work sometimes, but I can’t blame her for being who she is. I’ll just suffer in silence or maybe write about it.

Like I said, I don’t often express home sickness but a day doesn’t pass without me thinking about it.

When I’m home, i can only think about everything that is wrong with the country: public schools, terrible hospitals, huge inequalities between genders and some very narrow minded people.

However, when I’m gone, home comes to me as waking up to the sound of Boys Don’t Cry by The Cure, which was my morning companion through my three years in high school; or me reading Anna Karenina on the bus taking me to school. I can hear my mother in the car, asking me about the weird album that I was listening to — which was the Queen is Dead by The Smiths, yet another classic — still known today, and only by us, as “the green album”.

The Kinks though, were her favorite to play in the car.
I guess music always meant a pretty great deal to me.

She would spend her sunday afternoon taking me to my favorite bookshop and wait for me — for forever, she’d say — to make up my mind and to come up with at least 5 books that, and I quote, “ i need to read, or i won’t be able to live with myself”.

We were always very close, my mom and I. Very different people, for sure, but we had our dynamic and we have some very good time.

I also miss the sun. There is nothing like an african sun. I miss feeling warm without it being unpleasant like in Paris, where every warm summer day feels like a teaser from hell. I miss my friends, who also went away and whom I don’t see as much as I used to. Some of my high school teachers meant a lot to me too. 

My home has no land. It has no geographical localization nor a specific time period. Home follows my days and it is made of all the people and memorizes that are close to my heart.

If I had to leave France tomorrow, I would certainly be heartbroken because it would be leaving a huge part of me behind. I guess leaving is always difficult and at first, it doesn’t feel like home because you don’t see it as growing roots somewhere but only as snatching the only roots you had in this big full — and yet very lonely — world.

As long as i’m being fully myself, as long as I am making the choice to be beamed somewhere else, i guess i’d be fine with it because i’ll always have my home with me and i want so badly to live a million lives, to taste all the figs in the world, to be someone else, someone new, to allow myself to change and to become someone i was never expecting to be, over and over again … 

Safe abortion day

Today is safe abortion day and hopefully, someday, it will be possible for all women around the world to choose what’s right for them.

47,000 women die annually from complications through unsafe terminations of pregnancy (according to UN Women). That’s an alarming number.

However, i feel so lucky to be living in the time where anything seems possible and even deep skeptics (like myself) can imagine a better world where people are free to choose their way of living without being judged by the law or by society. 

Abortion is indeed a delicate topic : of course it’s hard and painful and it questionnes our right to interfere with life itself but it’s a fact that all countries and cultures need to accept and action must be taken.

I personally chose to encourage women’s freedom of will and body. 

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Nowadays, humanity is way beyond nature and it’s so exciting to see men recreating social codes and pushing individuals to be their honest and best selves. 

As a woman and as an actor in health, i’m planning to work hard for accessible, legal and safe abortion.

You can visit this website for more information on the global day of action : www.september28.org/take-action

 

Three Fictional Characters that describe me

I’m not sure these women actually describe be, but they describe what i enjoy in life and the person i want to be.

  1. Miranda Hobbes (Sex and the City) is a badass workaholic who doesn’t apologize for loving her job. She’s honest, funny AF and she never says no to a drink (or a cookie).
  2. Rory Gilmore (Gilmore girls) : book lover, fast talker, carries a few OCDs and worships coffee. Do you need more ??
  3. Rachel Earl (My mad fat diary) says fuck a lot, is obsessed with rock music and thinks there is no such thing as too much sarcasm (or beer).

Late writing n° 1

It’s currently 21:56.
I’m in Rennes, FRANCE.

I’ve finished season 10 of Friends. AGAIN. I also went to the hospital and learnt about terrifying genetical diseases and how to diagnose it. I took a nape, worked for a bit and went to M’s to make crepes with F. I am now home. Just made myself an infusion and i’m still listening to David Bowie. 


Quick update on The Bell Jar : i read the first 2 chapters and i’m so far enjoying it. It made me think of The Catcher in the Rye and i realize now how much i enjoy reading novels where the narration is done by the main character. 


I went to the movies yesterday and saw Xavier Dolan’s Juste la fin du monde. It was beautifully shot, the soundtrack was fine, the cast was very good but i’m not quite sure about how i feel about this film.

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(Spoiler Alert)

This movie made me quite inconfortable : the shouting, the bitterness, the awkwardness between family members and the obvious lack of comprehension between Louis’ world and the others.

To sum up : Louis is 34 and hasn’t seen his family (mother, sister and brother) in 12 years. He’s back for a Sunday lunch to announce that he is dying. 

It was very interesting to see how Catherine (Louis’ sister in law) – that he was meeting for the first time – was the one to see him as he was and to understand what he was too afraid to say. 

Antoine (Louis’ brother) made me super inconfortable. He was scary and, beside from the end of the movie, i couldn’t see the interest of him speaking screaming.

At first, i was trying really hard to concentrate and then one scene, one flashback was truly magical. After that, i couldn’t love the movie nothing was good enough for me to forget that scene. 

I’m glad i’ve seen it, because it’s about nostalgia, saying goodbye and reliving old memories that you thought were gone forever. You also have this character who chose to build a completely different life from his family because himself felt different and not fit for the place he had : i have felt like that for a very long time.

Also, life is not made of perfect scenarios : it is made of imperfect, resentful and angry people who are hurt, lost and who can’t always understand each other. 

PS : Xavier Dolan is a very talented Canadian filmmaker. Please watch J’ai tué ma mère, Mommy and his other movies. 

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